Help Needed from Other Single Mothers


With the exception of very few people in my small circle of friends (and they know who they are, love yall), who the heck calls or texts a woman who is nine months pregnant in the middle of the night!? It wasn’t even from someone I look forward to hearing from so naturally it was incredibly frustrating. Especially when I’m already having difficulty falling asleep. For an instance, I thought, “so much for my massage!” As I have mentioned in one of my previous blogs though, I will not let him dictate my life, dangit!! My massage will not become a total waste because of his lack of thoughtfulness.

I would now like to appeal to other single mothers out in the world and ask you, how do you make it work? He drives me mad! We have tried to be civil. Unfortunately, he only puts his son first as long as he is single. It is extremely difficult for me because during that time something as simple as, “How are you?” gets misconstrued as, “I love you, I want to marry you and carry 25 more of your babies.” Then when he finally hears my words of, “no, I do not want to be with you romantically,” he stops checking up on the well being of his child for weeks at a time. How do I not let him drive my world completely bonkers should he actually claim paternity of his son? What can I do in general?

As it stands he does not want to claim paternity. He wants a test to establish paternity but does not want to pay for it, so instead he wants to wait till I go into labor and see the baby and from there determine if the baby is his or not based on looks. If the baby looks like me he will not claim paternity. Little does he know, I will take him to court for child support (I don’t think he’s that ignorant though) and I know he doesn’t want to pay child support. If we do go to court for child support though I run the risk of having to share custody, granted I do have a few cards in my hand that will play to my favor. He has a felony of his record and has been in jail a couple of times and, as far as I know, cannot currently pass a drug test. But I know he knows way around that so once he passes it he can have unsupervised visits and overnighters. I have kept an extensive record of our communications and his unreliability but I am afraid it won’t be enough. I fear the environment my son could be exposed to. Mr. Flip-flop’s mother, for example, who he lives with, is close to the bottle since her husband passed. She is prescribed a variety of medications. Then there are his friends, where everyone takes their kid to when s/he is visiting a parent. Of course with most of the inhabitants being young, there’s alcohol and drugs everywhere.

I do not know what to do most days. My family doesn’t understand why I want him to deny paternity. I know that is extremely selfish but it is for the protection of my son. They see it as, I should get money from him. I don’t care about the money if it means exposing my child to a dangerous life.

What more can I do to ensure my son’s safety??


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