Call Me Paranoid But…..


I have an unhealthy infatuation with Investigation Discovery and other crime shows like Law & Order: Special Victim’s Unit and CSI: Miami and many others that have to do with solving heinous crimes. One of the most recent shows I have found myself fully captivated by is The Killing. So far, The Killing is my favorite. Unlike the other crime shows that air on TV, this one doesn’t get solved in an hour or less. The first crime I watched didn’t even get solved in the first season! The only thing I did not like about it was I guessed from episode two or three who the killer was and had to wait until the end of Season Two to find out if I was right or not and was slightly let down when I was right. If you’re going to take that long to tell me who did it, at least make it a complete shocker, you know? Regardless, I still watch it. Even some of the shows that seem slightly corny, something Mr. Love used to get on to me about with CSI every chance he got. (I finally resolved to watching it while he was asleep so he couldn’t interrupt my show.)

With watching these crime shows I have naturally built a paranoia of being home alone. I admit that ever since I moved back home with my parents the paranoia isn’t quite as bad as it once was but I still don’t like to have my blinds open at night with the window opened or go outside to take the trash out after dark. I still jump for my chef’s knives when I hear a bump in the night but I don’t keep knives by my bed anymore like I did when I lived alone, I kept potential weapons EVERYWHERE.

I must say that waking up in the morning to your backdoor WIDE open is unsettling. I don’t care who you are. It is down right catastrophic when your pregnant because all I could think was, “Thank you, higher power, for my child still be inside of me and not asleep alone in his own room!” It doesn’t help that there have been a string of murders recently in my town, many of them are not solved because they all occurred this week and we don’t live in a 30-minute A&E TV drama. Most of the crimes happened on the side of town I LIVE ON! Granted the neighborhood I live in is much nicer than the rest of this side of town but how a neighborhood looks and feels doesn’t mean crime can’t still find its way in.

I sent my mother a message asking her about the door and she says, “Yea, I left it open because I turned off the AC.”

Really? REALLY!!??

I cried, that is all I could do. I cried hysterically! There are things that used to annoy me before I got pregnant but now those little things down right infuriate me! I’m sure Mrs. Tequila, my best friend, is tired of hearing from me about how incredibly frustrated I am with this or that, someone in my house is doing but she’s being wonderful anyways and humors me. Possibly because she has done what I am doing three times already and remembers it all well. I am just trying to understand why everything is considerably more frustrating, more annoying, and more aggravating. But today, I just want the damn door to be shut and locked! Who gives a rat’s ass if the air is on or not? So, now, I sit here wondering if when I leave for my doctor’s appointment, do I leave the backdoor open?

According to my mom’s logic, I should because the AC is still off.


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