As I sat down to finish writing an essay for my English class, I found myself doing the usual. Taking a break to read blogs (by taking a break I mean getting distracted.) I am new to the whole blogging thing and to WordPress and just learned that I can use the “tags” box to find blogs to my specific preference. Naturally, I have been looking at blogs tagged Single Mothers and Single Parenting for support that I am not alone.
Well, I am alone but not in the sense that I am the only one alone.
It’s odd how two tags so seemingly similar can be so different. Maybe it is just today, maybe it is not like this all the time. At least I hope not because the Single Mothers tag was NOT helpful one bit! One blog went on about another single mother who must be doing something right because she just published a book and toured Amsterdam, but is being bashed on for “two solid years of complaining that no one likes her because she’s a single mom.” Well, writer, if you’re so annoyed by it, guess what. There’s a simple solution, STOP READING IT!
That one did not bother me nearly as much though, just a reason for me to annoy them by complaining even though I wont attach their blog to this. (I don’t want them encouraged. Call me petty if you wish but I don’t care, right now.)
The blog that did bother me, hit me hard. It speaks about some of the circumstances that cause a mother to be single and goes on to tell people how much of a failure their child will be because they have no father.
Most single mothers don’t have time for their children, they have little or no time to help their children with homework or even listen to them which can lead to a child failure or dropout in the child’s academics. Many children who grow without father are likely to look in the wrong places. Because most of them turn out to be bad eggs in the society.
Excuse me, but F#$% YOU!!!!!! This is NOT supportive and extremely judgmental and is based off nothing factual! Or at least, they didn’t use any facts to back up anything they said. This person closed with, “Being a single mother has both positive and negative effect on the children and the mother.” But they forgot to include anything positive at all in their post. Maybe I’m being hormonal right now and took some of their blog out of context, but I do not believe I did.
My point is don’t tell me what I will or will not have time for. Don’t tell me my child is going to be a “bad egg” or a “dropout” because he has a shitty father. Don’t tell me that he would be better off, as a person, with a shitty father than with no father because guess what, YOU don’t know JACK! You can’t generalize something as broad and complex as single parenting. I know plenty of people who have offered more to society that came from a single parent home than some who came from a home with both parents.
I think I’m done ranting. Thank you. Just really annoyed me. Luckily, Single Parenting tag had more to offer and helped calm my nerves and found a blog that perfectly served its purpose. After reading those two blogs, I almost gave up for the night until I found this one titled, I Shall Teach Them To Rise. A beautiful post about the reality of being a single mother with the reminder and encouragement to dust yourself off and pick yourself back up. Her daughters’ are all she has and she is all her daughters’ have. Like her, despite the support system I have as well, my son is all I have and I am all my son has and I must teach him the same thing: to always rise up from the ashes.
Hold your head high, my son. People are cruel but you will be strong and together we will prove them wrong. We’ll just have to work a little harder than some.