Your “official” open letter was written in the weeks leading up to your birthday. I was unable to actually sit down and write it all at once. This is the biggest bitter sweet moment I have had to experience in my life, yet.
As I write this, now, you are asleep in my arms. It has been a long time since you have fallen asleep in my arms and just as I was able to stand up and place you in your crib, I realized I shouldn’t be so hasty. This may be my last chance to hold you as you doze and I never want to let go.
As your head lay on my should and wistful dreams fill your head, all I can think of is when I held you at the hospital one year ago.
Me holding you for the last half hour may possibly set you back in your ability to put yourself to sleep but I can’t bring myself to let go. Time is slipping through my finger like water in my bare hands. I want to remember this moment forever.