My dearest DC,
How is it that six months has passed already? Just yesterday you fit perfectly in the crook of my arm. Now you stand with confidence (and assistence) to my knees.
You have such an incredible drive and I pray everyday you never lose that. Your determination is immeasurable. Your curiosity for the world has inspired me to see the world through your eyes and experience as much of it as possible like new.
I can’t tell you enough how much you’ve changed my life and continue to do so daily. You have made me a much better person than I was and you motivate me to strive for THE BEST! I can’t imagine giving you anything less than the best. My heart aches more than I ever knew it could when I have to be away from you, and lately it has been more often than I care to be. But it is for your well being, to give you the best life I can provide, and that’s the only thing that gets me through those long days I have to go without you. Always know, baby, that there is never a second of my day that goes by that I’m not thinking of you, missing you.
Your latest accomplishments include rolling over from tummy to back, from back to tummy. If the cat is around, she motivates you enough for you to pull yourself up to stand up. (I think nearly all of your motivations has come from your curiosity of the cat.) You now sit up on your own and are a lot less wobbly. You are so close to crawling without dragging your face on the floor (Update: you are now crawling when no one is looking. And by no one I mean me. Way to go, kid!) but, really, you’d rather walk. You’re getting the hang of the whole one step, two step with assistence but you haven’t quite realized yet that in order to do this on your own you must first master the art of balance. But you’ll get it, slick, just keep at it. Never give up, whatever you do in life, don’t ever give up.
Now, I must touch on a subject I don’t care to bring up but it’s your birth right to know. Your father. I’m not sure how you’ll feel about him by the time you receive these letters, if you’ve had the chance to meet him or even the desire, or the opportunity to at least talk to him. I’m not sure how you’ll view the whole situation or how you’ll feel about him not being involved. That scares me. I want you to know that his involvement (or lack thereof) has absolutely nothing to do with you as a person. Don’t ever let anyone (and I mean anyone, I don’t care who they are) make you feel otherwise. His decision to walk away was his own. There is nothing that will make you any less of a person, especially an act that you have absolutely no control over.
You are an amazing person and deserve everything good in this world. Don’t ever think you have to run after someone to keep them in your life. God is leading their path away from you for a reason, if your life is meant to intertwine God will find a way. And you’ll always have me. Forever and ever. Like I tell you when I lay you in your crib, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never leave you.
I wish I could tell you now the whole story between your father and I but you’re so young, you wouldn’t understand or even remember. Also, given that you’re my son the story in it’s entirety isn’t necessarily appropriate. But you will know what you need to know. I will never lie to you. (Unless it’s for your own good. Like, if you pick your butt, brown eels will eat your fingers off, and stuff like that.) I am also sure that if Mimi is still visiting you (your father’s mother) she will answer any questions about him that I may be unable to answer.
Always remember, everything I have done and will do, I do for you. I do to make your life the best it can be.