So I have been a bit of a fireball lately, in case some of you haven’t noticed. I have been having difficulty accepting inevitable changes (or lack of) concerning Mr. Flip-flop. Will he, won’t he, is he, isn’t he? Who cares? It is what it is.
Luckily, when I go through these phases there is always something that reminds me of what I do have. Or in this case, don’t have. Which is not a bad thing.
This evening, I sit with my cousin watching Teen Mom 3 Reunion and I see these incredibly young mothers just fight with the father of their children and struggle beyond anything I can imagine to just make it work. They fight so much to have that picturesque family. I told my cousin that although it is hard to go through this pregnancy without the father I am grateful I do not have that struggle and stress. Granted I made it clear to him from the beginning that I would not deal with unnecessary stress and risk any complications because he’s too worried about not being alone. I couldn’t tell you how many girlfriends he has had in the last 6 months alone. How many boyfriends have I had throughout my pregnancy? ZERO! Why? Because my son comes first, not my love life. But I’m venturing off topic. The topic right here, right now, is that I do not have to deal with that in my life because I know I do not have to tolerate it.
Do not get the wrong idea, I am not keeping him from anything, he does that to himself. I have kept him in the loop of everything, he said he wanted to be involved so I have kept him involved. Beyond that, it has been his own doing. He has known the date of every single appointment (has attended 4 out of 14, late to all) and been kept in the loop when the doctors thought I had preeclampsia. That was probably the most terrifying moment of my pregnancy and I made it clear to him that I needed his support as the father of my child. He PROMISED he would be at the appointments that tested me for the condition. We needed to be a team if nothing else. But Flip-flop did just what a flip-flops does. But again I am grateful I do not have these fights or screaming matches that my child could be subjected to. I will have a struggle ahead of me but it will not be nearly as difficult with the fights out of the picture. Because again, I do not tolerate it. It is a struggle in and of itself to bite my tongue but it does pay off. I no longer engage in his ignorance and extremely poor excuses and it helps my child and my health.
Single mommas, you do not have to tolerate the B.S. Trust me, I know how hard it is to just finally let go. After all, he is the father of your child. But what will be better for your child in the long run? THAT is what has to be put first, not ones own fear of being alone, you are momma, you’ll never be alone again. You are strong and you can do this. Mr. Right will come along when the time is right.
Note: please excuse any mistakes in this post. I am currently putting Broken Condom’s Baby O to sleep and do not have time to edit at the moment.