Wow, I feel like it has been a lifetime since I last blogged. It was nice waking up today and finding that my 6 day old son slept through the night. Well actually he woke up twice after I decided to go to bed (just after midnight after doing mommy stuff.) Technically sleeping through the night for a baby is five uninterrupted hours of sleep. My little man made it four hours in the last stretch. Just shy of “through the night” but when you’re waking up at a time you’re normally just falling asleep, it’s a win! Normally I’m handing my son off to my mother at about five or six am tears falling down my face as she sooths him just long enough so I can get the usual two hours of sleep and not shove my cousin out of the way of her head-filled oven to make room for me. Nope, tonight I laid down, sure he would start screaming the second I got comfortable, as usual. So this took longer than usual to accomplish until I just fell asleep, comfort or no comfort. Once you give birth, new mother’s-to-be, you find you can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, and in any position. I do not count on this being his usual thing, I wish it would though, but it is unlikely. I am eternally thankful though that he acknowledged mommy’s exhaustion and was willing to give her a break.
Last night, doing my “mommy things” of course included Facebooking while working on a final paper for this semester. While allowing myself the occasional distraction, the following post appeared in my news feed. (Names have been blacked out and pictures deleted for privacy.) But it occurred to me since the birth of my son exactly how small minded the world we live in is. I had forgotten that although MY world had changed THE world hadn’t. For the first time since I brought DC home I felt the pain of what my son will feel in the most difficult of times.
A Friend’s PostSoo many people bitch about these girl getting pregnant ,and for what?? It’s not you having to raise the baby is it ? Noo ,I don’t think so. In other words: shut the fuck up and live YOUR life instead of complaining about someone else’s situation.
- 9 people like this.
- Someone Else You should have your own house, career, and be married. Before you even think about having children. Call me old fashion, I’m not going to have kids till I have all that.via mobile · Like · 1
- Someone Else Use a condom and birth control. Pregnancy is 100% preventable.9 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1
- Anna Hunter Again, you may refer back to my previous comment. If you aren’t ready for children then that’s you, you don’t see me passing judgment. But just keep in mind that not everyone can live the ideal lifestyle that they dream of. God has different plans for everyone but in the end it always works out.9 hours ago· Like · 1
- Someone Else Teenagers are not ready to be parents!! They are KIDS!9 hours ago via mobile · Like
- Someone Else And people wonder why this world is going down to shit! People are reproducing like damn chickens. Kids are having kids.9 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1
- Anna Hunter I agree that they aren’t ready and I don’t encourage them to go out and knock themselves up but ultimately it comes down to the parents. How did they raise their children? Did they properly educate them on the responsibilities of raising a child and what it means to be a parent? Are they EVEN involved? There are so many factors to be taken into consideration that it’s unfair to solely blame the teenager. Also would have helped if you were a little more specific in exactly what demographic you were talking about.9 hours ago · Like · 1
The entire conversation itself did not bother me. Although I am surprising myself everyday at every turn. I wanted to desperately call her out on her ignorance and small minded judgments and emphasize to her that she is NOT better than those around her. But I didn’t, instead I tried to reason with her and educate her on the reality of living in an imperfect world. But that didn’t get to me either. It was Someone Else’s very first comment. “You should have your own house, career, and be married. Before you even think about having children.”
It wasn’t that it even hurt ME. It was then I realized that for as long as I am unmarried, living with my parents, and still working to establish my career, it will DC who will pay for my hardships and my poor decision making. He will perhaps get more judgment than I will, maybe he wont but I know how to handle it. I had to walk away from my computer and place myself in front of my son and stroked his cheek. In that moment I did not care if I woke him, I needed him to know how much I love him. That no matter what I will ALWAYS fight for him.
We live in a small minded world where at every turn we are being judged.
Know this, Someone Else, I do not own my own house, I do not yet have a career (and I’m sure it won’t matter to you that I am a full time student, working towards having one,) and I am not married. But I would not change a damn thing if that change meant that I wouldn’t have my beautiful son. He saved my life and has made me a better person. Before he came along, that conversation would have gone an entirely different direction and would not have been as kind as it was or put forth the effort to try to view things from your perspective (which I have started to do because of my son.) I would have shown anger at your ignorance and your poor choice in thinking that the way someone else lives their life is ANY of your business. Now, because of my son, who is born out of wedlock, instead I pity you and I pray that one day you can find God. You may think you already have but if that were the case he would have shown you that your way of thinking is only harmful to yourself and should you continue to pass judgment on those around you, it will not be long before you find yourself judged. When that happens I cannot say the judge will be as forgiving or understanding or so willing to try to put themselves in your shoes. Think before you speak.
A quick note to my son:
This world is not so harsh, but the same cannot be said for those that live in it. I hope to teach you that the way I once carried myself and lived my life was not ideal and that you can learn from that. I also hope to teach you the tolerance I showed this young lady and continue to show those I walk past in life. Let mommy carry the burdens of reality as you learn right from wrong. Pass your heartache on to me when you feel doubt. Let mommy shed those tears for you to allow your face to remain dry and your heart whole. I don’t care what anyone says, I would not trade you for the world. I love you with all my heart, more than you could ever imagine and will never love another the way I love you. Stay strong.