Tag Archives: faith

To My Beautiful Son

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DC,

You seem to be growing at an alarmingly fast rate. I’m not quite sure how I’ve managed to keep up with you but so far I have.

You are not quite 9 months old yet but in the blink of an eye, you will be. And when I blink again you’ll be 9 years old. I spend a lot of my free time wondering what our future might hold, what sort of boy and eventually man you grow to be. I also have spent some time concerned that I may not be enough for you.

I know you may not know anything different from the life you know but I worry you’ll feel like something is missing from your life once you realize that your father isn’t involved in the way that he should be. But that is why I feel so strongly about our religion. God has always been there for me and everyone else I know in ways that simple humans cannot be. Mostly, though, I want you to know that you are not fatherless. You have the greatest father of all. God.

I wish I could say our life will be prefectly filled with blue skies and rainbows but it won’t be. That’s just life. We’ll have the occasional rainy day and maybe even some thunderstorms. But one thing that will never fade and never leave you is the love and guidance of our heavenly father.

There is so much that excites me but also scares me so much about our upcoming journey. But I know with faith we’ll come out of it ok. I don’t want you to ever fear as I do or to worry as I do. I want your relationship with God to be so much stronger than my own. Keep your faith in him and if you ever find yourself alone know that you aren’t. I’ll always be in your heart right next to God’s love.

I love you with my everything
Mommy

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The Good Samaritan Times Two

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The Good Samaritan Times Two

People continue to amaze me with their kindness every day. Just when you begin to lose faith in humanity and their ability to show compassion there is one out of the bunch that makes their presence known to rekindle the faith.

In the last month I have been blessed to have TWO kind strangers who have shown me that all is not lost. I firmly believe this is a sign from god. That even in the middle of some nonsense that has appeared throughout my life, it is not yet time to give up on the human population.

The first act of kindness happened on April 14 as I was leaving the grocery store. I was loading my groceries in my car when a man approached me. Now, I don’t know what it is about me lately that has suddenly made me so approachable. Before I had my son and throughout my pregnancy I was best described as the girl who had “f%@! off” stamped across her head and I did not strike up conversations with random strangers. But this man was undeterred by whatever demeanor I may have been giving off, whether intentional or otherwise. He was well dressed and shined a friendly smile and said, “Hey, how’s it going,” as though I was an old friend. I gave pause as I considered if he might be someone I once knew. As I filtered faces in my memory bank he handed me a slip of folded paper that read “God bless you.” He flashed one more smile and went on his way. I shoved the paper in my pocket as I continued loading my car. When I slid into the driver’s seat of my car I remembered the note he passed me and pulled it out of my pocket. I briefly considered throwing the paper away as a number of thoughts raced through my head. I thought at first that maybe this was some sort of angry letter at how I was dressed. It wasn’t particularly provocative, I was still somewhat dressed in my chefs uniform minus the jacket. Instead I was wearing the undershirt, a nursing tank top that showed off a good bit of cleavage, that I normally don’t wear in public. Then I thought maybe it was a letter trying to convince me to convert faiths or push me to join a church. Then the irrational kicked in, it was full of anthrax and this man’s true intention was to kill me. (My imagination is too much for me to handle sometimes.) But something told me not to throw this away so I carefully unfolded the letter and was surprised at what I found inside.

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I was overwhelmed with his random kindness towards a person he’d never seen before in his life. I couldn’t help but cry for his good deed and my misgiving thoughts.

Later, on April 30, I went to a local thrift store to spend a little of my birthday money on clothes I desperately needed. (I don’t quite fit in my pre pregnancy clothes yet and still wear my maternity clothes which are now too big.) While I was there I also picked up shorts for my son which he also badly needed. I passed the toys and couldn’t resist finding something for DC, thinking I should go ahead and start stocking up on Christmas and birthday gifts for him.

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I was standing in line with one gentleman in front of me who looked particularly scraggly and slightly hard up on life himself. He saw the toys and baby clothes in my bunch of purchases and told the cashier, “Give this young lady my change to go towards her the baby toys.” It was only $0.23 USD but he could have easily kept his change and put it towards his own needs. Again I was touched by this generosity and selfless gesture and was at a loss for words.

In life, it’s easy to only see the bad that goes on in the world around us and it doesn’t help that many times that’s the only thing the news will report on, only adding to our already negative thinking of the direction society today is headed. But there are still angels that walk among us. We just need to open our eyes and our hearts to see them and accept their goodness and trust that there isn’t always an ulterior motive to their actions.

There are still good people with good intentions and good hearts.

“Treat others the way you wish to be treated.”

God bless.

“Turn to Your Faith, Family, and Friends”

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This week has been a trying week. God giving a tribulation at its best. It could have been worse, I’ll admit that willingly. Another fact I will freely admit is how close I was to giving in. Simply throwing my hands up. But as Mr. Love used to end ALL his letters from boot camp, “Love you, be safe. When you feel alone or find yourself struggling turn to your faith, family, and friends.” And although he never needed to actually voice it, he meant it in that order. He knew I always had a close relationship with God that he graciously respected and admired and he also knew I had the most close knit family he ever saw and even had the brief honor of being included in. (To this day my family still asks about him and his well being. Not as much because they know for a while it ached me to talk about him but they still do care.)

It was difficult for me these last several days to do anything other than complain and moan, which is always the easiest thing to do. But once I took the time out to put everything in God’s hands, see my family, and talk to my friends I was reminded of things I am fortunate to have in my life. Regardless of the ridiculous crap that may drop in on my life from time to time. We must always remember that things can be worse and that somewhere else things are worse.

Even though things do not always work out the way I would prefer I still have it pretty damn easy, considering. I just needed a little reminding. This week God reminded me how nice things could be and what I should look for. While family reminded me that no matter what day it is or what time they are always here for me to give love, support, and laughter. And friends reminded me that they can be more strict than my own parents at times they also remind me that being a single mother is not the worse thing. To take pride in what I do, no matter how difficult or lonesome. That when the time is right, as long as I’m patient God will provide for me what I need when I need it.

This was going to be just another blog of me complaining, full of “whoa is me” drama, until God made his presence blatantly known and smacked me with reality. My small family is very fortunate for what we have and I have no room for anything but happiness of what we do have. No matter the struggle. Because it could always be worse.

I have learned that God will send messages and at times make things seem like everything just gets worse and worse but really it’s just to make sure your faith doesn’t take thing for granted. Just like everything else, God can be taken for granted, too. He just has to remind us from time to time that he is here to support and love us, not to be our genie to grant us wishes. It just takes harder lessons every now and again to be reminded.

Now since I am making my way to bed I would like to lead all my readers in prayer:

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have trespassed against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.

I pray the Lord carries you all through safe passage through the night and keeps you safe and helps you all through any struggle you may face in your life. I also pray that you do not forget God’s love in the struggles you face and that we all remember to forgive those we love and those we pity alike.

And because I was raised Catholic:

In the name of the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.