Tag Archives: pregnancy

To Blog or Not To Blog

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Why is it always blogging that distracts me from stuff? (And I mean important stuff.)┬áLike, right now, I should be making sure my notebook is in order for early grading cause who knows where I will be next week. Although with how this pregnancy is going so far, no closer to having a baby. Why do I have the feeling that my son’s motto in life is going to be, “revenge is a dish best served cold?” He’s bidding his time. Ohhh lordy. At least he’ll be a patient person, right? That’s the vibe I’m getting anyways.

I initially had a point to this blog, now I don’t remember it. So we’re here again wasting your time. Haha, I LOVE it!

One fun fact about my pregnancy, since day one, every single morning I sneeze while I’m eating breakfast. Usually I can fight it off long enough to finish what’s in my mouth but when I do that I always have to sneeze a second time and that one always catches me. This morning, half eaten French toast everywhere! GROSS!

You think in France they call French toast, American toast?

I thought I shielded the spray of French toast pretty decently from making a complete mess this morning but I’m still finding pieces. Good thing I have a strong stomach. I need a shower. I just found some on my back, don’t ask me how.

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Today’s Thoughts on Heath Ledger and Pregnancy

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So I started out having a crappy morning until I saw a picture of Heath Ledger and then I smiled. He’s so sexy. I remember the day he passed. I was in Indianapolis with my cousins’ getting ready to eat lunch when one of them came out into the dining room telling us to turn the news on. “Heath Ledger has died today. Causes are still unknown. The actor was found-” I cried, he was suppose to be my future ex husband or secret lover at the very least. That happened, what, five years ago? Six years ago? You, sir, are still missed. I could not enjoy the new Batman movie because all I could think of was how great it WASN’T because The Joker died before his time. How could they even THINK about doing the next movie when it was so painfully obvious he was meant to be in it? It was pure blasphemy! I still have yet to find another actor to fall in love with and be my next future ex husband. FYI: my initial thoughts upon seeing the picture of Heath Ledger were not so gloomy, they were more along the lines of, “oh, well, good morning to you too, sir.” When my kid asks me about his father can I just tell him his father is Mr. Ledger? I guess, technically, I could until he learns how to do math, however, then he’ll probably have a serious complex and need therapy, it’s not worth all that money.

On a completely different note, I currently sit at school waiting for Professor W to show up and start class. While I wait (with my multitasking skills) I sift through my day planner and check my school email (Something I really should do more of. Sorry, Dr. R, I’m failing miserably at cutting that word out of my vocabulary.) I realize we have three weeks left of school and I still have five papers to write for my classes. Three are for one class and two of those three papers are short five paragraph essays, one of which is halfway written so it isn’t quite as bad as it sounds. But not only is the end of the semester three weeks away, so is my due date! This window of time is just shrinking at an enormously fast rate; I can’t keep up. Seven months ago people would say to me, “You have plenty of time.” I would chuckle at them and think, “Yea, says you, the one NOT pregnant.” Now I cackle at them hysterically, on the verge of crossing into crazy town with a complimentary white jacket with oversized sleeves and white candies that makes you sleep. I’ve been told to make lists, prioritize, etc. Do you have any idea how hard that is to do when you’re pregnant with scrambled eggs for brains!? I’m lucky I can get my pants on in the morning and that’s no joke, cause I can’t reach; not to mention the growing pain I feel in my hips as each day passes. Ohhhh, how I need to calm down and breathe or I’ll surely accomplish nothing. Why are babies so stressful?

Almost The End?

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Attention pregnant women who have not yet reached their third trimester.

It SUCKS! The word “comfort” is erased from your vocabulary almost immediately.

Which is worse? The first trimester or the third? Who’s to say? At least in the third trimester you aren’t nauseated anymore but there is only constant pain and discomfort. I find myself getting angry again at the women who describe pregnancy as “a beautifully wonderful process.” Believe me, the only beautiful part about pregnancy is the second trimester. Oh, and the kicking, when it isn’t in the ribs…or the bladder, or any other important organs.

Some of you who have never been pregnant may be thinking to yourselves how drastically different today’s blog is from yesterday’s but that’s what you get in pregnancy, a rollercoaster. SO GET USED TO IT!

Another joy that comes with the last month of pregnancy is people reminding you, “you’re almost done.” But am I? AM I!? Will it ever end? I’m so tired (I know that won’t change but at least it’ll be a different kind of tired) and so big. I don’t like feeling like this. I miss my exercises and keeping myself in shape (small children can literally hide from me under my belly and I’ll never find them) and now I cannot get out of bed without help. Not that I have any, so it’s kicking the pillow, that is supporting my body and giving me the occasional illusion of comfort, to the floor and shimmy to the edge of the bed and rolling, yes rolling, out onto the floor in hopes that my feet make first contact then getting enough leverage to get myself up. Just think, I also have to do this the 46 bajillion times I wake up in the middle of the night because the baby wants to roll over onto my bladder or screams for tater tots or oreo’s or something equally random at three in the morning.

Note to spouses of pregnant women: keep in mind that I have been very lucky in most cases and have had the food I craved on hand, except the night I needed McDonalds cause I dreamt of it and couldn’t have it because the zombies started to take over the world. That night/morning having no money was my real life zombie and forced me to eat a chicken pattie instead of a delicious McDouble with the largest fries in the world (oh how I wish they still offered the super size.) Anyways, I’m venturing WAY off topic, spouses. My point is, if she is not so lucky to have the food in hand, help her! Go get that food she’s craving. Who cares how late it is or how ridiculous the craving is, because regardless she won’t be able to get back to sleep until she has that meal and neither will you. Not if she is anything like me, anyways. My philosophy on it would be, “I didn’t do this on my own! I suffer, you suffer.” So, the sooner you get her food, the sooner you can go back to sleep and still be well rested for work tomorrow and the less likely you will have a crying, blubbery mess on your hands because you not getting her food at three in the morning will somehow be tied to the fact that you don’t love her and the baby and you’re leaving them because the stapler at your work is a nicer shape than her and doesn’t have saggy, stretch marked boobs. Just save yourself the headache. Your logic may tell you that going out for the food may be more trouble than it is worth but trust me when I tell you, IT IS NOT! Just say, “yes, dear” and give her a kiss and get her food.

To those women who also suffer in the last few weeks with me, are we really almost there? Am I the only one who swears it won’t ever end, because I swear, it totally won’t. On some days I’m OK with it and not rushing it at all and other days I just cry and cry. Or I spend my day like today, skipping my homework to sleep ALL day. I’ve never been more indecisive in my entire life or more exhausted. I’ve hardly left my bed today, even as I write this I am laying in bed, with my tablet rather than getting up and moving a foot and a half to my computer. Besides that would require another roll. But you can bet what I’m going to do when I’m finished writing this blog, yep, going back to sleep.